2022 NFL Draft: Most Likely To…

We’re only one week away from the 2022 NFL Draft. Combine measurements have been made, interviews have been conducted, Pro Day workouts have been observed — all that’s left now is to see how the next generation of stars shakes out over the league on Draft Day. While we’ve been hearing everyone and their mothers debate the placement of the top five picks, the 40-yard dash times, the Hutchinson vs Thibodeaux debate, the best edge rusher in the class, and the size of Kenny Pickett’s hands, we wanted to dig deep into what these athletes’ futures will actually look like — you know, the stuff that really matters. We’re going to pass on picking the most explosive receiver — instead, here are our much more important superlatives for the 2022 draft class. Most likely to take their team around from the outhouse to the penthouse: Jordan Davis source: Getty Images There’s a reason that defensive tackle Jordan Davis dominated the headlines during Georgia’s championship run last year instead of the offensive score-makers. Davis made opposing offensive lines lose the will to live. Huge, dominating, impossibly strong, and shockingly quick for his size, Davis could be the next Aaron Donald and would be a transformative force on whichever defensive line he ends up on. He’s actually the first college player since Donald to win the Bednarik and Outland awards. While Davis’ pass rush has room for improvement, he’s also got time for improvement. He’s projected to go in the Top 20 right now, so while he might not end up orchestrating a Joe Burrow/Ja’Marr Chase-level turnaround, he’ll be an invaluable asset to his franchise. Most likely to end up being a legendary draft bust: Kenny Pickett source: Getty Images When you think Blake Bortles, Tim Couch, JaMarcus Russell, Josh Rosen, and Mitch Trubisky, most fans think of immense hype and failure to live up to it. Unfortunately, that’s all we can see when we look at Pittsburgh quarterback Kenny Pickett. Pickett has several tools that make offensive coordinators and quarterback coaches ogle in astoundment. However, he’s also got several bad habits that need breaking before he’s ready to dominate the NFL. Most notably, Pickett is jittery in the pocket. He never seems comfortable in between his tackles. All too often, Pickett will start moving around and looking to escape the pocket before any pressure arrives. You have to trust your O-line to keep you on your feet, but more often than not, Pickett would start to move before any pocket collapse had started. He creates unnecessary pressure for himself and will often run into pass rushers. While Pickett may have been able to scoot away from several of those defenders at Pitt, he won’t be able to do so in the NFL where defenders are faster and quicker to react. As is the case with every quarterback prospect, it will all come down to whether or not Pickett finds himself in the right system, one that can enhance his strongest attributes. However, Pickett’s jitters among a few mechanical errors are just too much to overlook for us. We hope Pickett succeeds in the NFL, but if we had to pick a Rosen-level bust in this year’s draft, we’ve got our money on Pickett. Most likely to end up hosting Good Morning America: Tyler Badie source: Getty Images Michael Strahan was known for his gregarious personality in front of reporters and cameras in general during his time with the Giants, parlaying that into an Emmy Award-winning television career since his retirement in 2008. Playing in the biggest media market in the country definitely helped Strahan land gigs with Pyramid and Live! with Kelly Ripa. His Q Score likely wouldn’t have been as high playing for the Jaguars or Lions. One affable bloke from the college ranks is former Missouri running back Tyler Badie, who’s one-liners and transparency with the media made each post-up in front of a lectern an event. Some of his highlights include the phrase “my booty was hurting” once he was carried off the field after the Tigers’ overtime Senior Day victory against Florida as well as combining the descriptors of bell-cow and workhorse to make his own “bell-horse.” Badie doesn’t have an imposing figure like Strahan, who is 6-foot-5. But he does have a Darren Sproles-like skillset, at 5-foot-8 and 195 pounds. But like Strahan, Badie has the same ability to connect with an audience and converse on any topic. Badie had NIL deals with a local pet store and Crumbl Cookies. Badie’s also lived in a few different parts of America, being born outside New Orleans and moving to the Baltimore area in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. The Badie family moved again to Memphis while Tyler was in high school. And after four years at Mizzou, he’s a likely NFL Draft selection and possibly entering his hat into the TV field after a playing career. Most likely to end up doing a series of Rob Gronkowski USAA-type ads: Josh Paschal   source: Getty Images Gronk’s USAA ad campaign was somehow so successful in its stupidity that it has effectively communicated the message of USAA’s services past its intended audience and into the homes and minds of a large percentage of Americans. His terribly written, somehow-even-more-terribly-acted performance has become NFL legend. Nissan’s Heisman House and Nick Saban’s Aflac campaigns don’t come close to the effect that Gronk lying to USAA agents on TV has had on the country’s psyche. So while I’m not sure who the next USAA is in this example, the next Gronk has got to be Josh Paschal. While in previous years, we would have been grasping at straws to answer this one, NIL has provided us with an inside look into the best/worst actors in the game right now. And the defensive end from Kentucky has already tried his chops in a local dentistry ad (though it’s a blatant Terry Tate: Office Linebacker Reebok ad knockoff), and based on his award-worthy performance there, I think he’s ready to take his talent national. See for yourself: Most likely to be drafted lower than he should: Jelani Woods source: Getty Images Virginia tight end Jelani Woods scored a perfect 10.0 Relative Athletic Score, putting him in the 100th percentile. What’s the RAS you ask? It’s a rating system designed by Kent Platte to crunch all of a players’ figures in combine drills and game tape into one number. So athletically, Woods is the top performing tight end out of the 998 that have tested since 1987. Every player is then placed in a percentile. Obviously, only a select few have earned a 100th percentile RAS. That may not sound that impressive, but keep in mind some of the other ‘100th percentile’-ers from years past. Cam Newton was the only quarterback to score in the 100th percentile at QB. I’d say he turned out pretty good. Calvin Johnson, yes, Megatron, is one of only two wide receivers to accomplish this feat. Creed Humphrey, a center who garnered a few Offensive Rookie of the Year votes last year, Brandon Brooks, a three-time Pro Bowler for the Texans and Eagles, and former All-Pro cornerback Byron Jones are a few of the people to have scored in the 100th percentile for athleticism. Not every athlete to score this high went on to have an illustrious NFL career. The other wide receiver I mentioned earlier was Joe Webb, who actually played quarterback in college and in the NFL. Even though Webb was selected 199th overall, he couldn’t live up to the standard that other 199th overall picks have established. Brian Johnston out of Gardner-Webb University is the highest-testing edge defender ever. He was taken in the seventh round and recorded just two tackles during his NFL career. So, while Woods may be athletic, that doesn’t guarantee a Hall-of-Fame career. Still, that athleticism isn’t something that can be overlooked. At the very least, Woods has a similar skillset to someone like Mo Alie-Cox, which would be a fine addition to most NFL teams already. That being said, if Woods finds himself in the right system, with a head coach that knows how to maximize his athleticism, we could have the next Jimmy Graham on our hands. We’re talking prime Jimmy Graham, and we don’t say that lightly. Most likely to have their team’s fan base turn on them: Malik Willis source: Getty Images It’s got to be a quarterback who goes early, by all accounts. A tragic Mitch Trubisky-style figure whose front office places the fate of a middling franchise on his shoulders, only for the fans to put all their eggs into one quarterback-shaped basket and inevitably be disappointed when a single player can’t make the difference that they needed. It’s not his fault — at least, not completely. And even Trubisky’s getting another chance! This year’s crushed-hopes-and-dreams guy looks like it might be Malik Willis. Whether he ends up in Atlanta, Seattle, or Carolina, or another team turning to the draft to find a QB after this year’s trade cycle, he’ll be hailed initially for his speed, athleticism, and arm strength — all accurate praises to give. But as the best quarterback in an underwhelming QB draft class, he may end up with too much pressure put on him as a rookie. His limitations in reading defenses and in ball placement carry the risk of making him look worse than he really is. A lack of experience will be translated as a lack of talent. Trevor Lawrence lost nearly all of his games last year, but the fan base didn’t turn against him because they had Urban Meyer to want dismembered. While whichever coach ends up with Willis certainly won’t escape blame if this comes to pass, the fans will call for anyone, and we mean anyone, to replace him in the vicious cycle of the quarterback search. Most likely to get in trouble for overzealous taunting penalties: Sauce Gardner source: Getty Images To get in trouble for overzealous taunting penalties, you have to have a reason to taunt, which means it’s got to be a talented player. This is a tough one to predict, especially with the bizarre and often confusing rules surrounding NFL taunting — I mean, you can get in trouble for looking at a guy the wrong way these days. I’m taking the bet here on Cincinnati’s Sauce Gardner. With the cornerback’s big personality, ability to make big shutdowns on plays, and NFL rookie status, he might get a little carried away with it at times after making a big stop. There’s no harm in celebrating (unless you’re an NFL ref), and no one’s going to argue that he fought for his projected draft spot. The Bearcats haven’t sent a guy in the first round in fifty years. Sauce is an excellent nickname — it may also end up being the indicator of a confidence that could escape into cockiness and, therefore, taunting penalties at times. He’ll be a great addition to whatever locker room he ends up in, but he might cost his team a few dozen yards along the way. Most likely to work for the TSA (no-fly zone): Lewis Cine source: Getty Images It would make sense for us to choose someone like Sauce Gardner or Kyle Hamilton here. That’s the safe choice. That’s the easy choice. It’s what lesser writers would do, but we dare to go beyond the first names pop into our heads, and instead strive to reach for someone you may not think of immediately: Georgia safety Lewis Cine. Not only is Cine one of the best coverage DBs in the draft this year, but he hits harder than Will Smith after Jada Pinkett Smith Roast. He is a powerhouse with the willingness to put his head down and drop the hammer on unsuspecting receivers. No one is going to want to go over the middle with Cine lurking about. That doesn’t just prevent people from flying, that prevents people from wanting to fly. That’s a no-fly zone taken to the next level. Most likely to start a line of NFTs that goes absolutely nowhere: Calvin Austin source: Getty Images Cryptocurrency is slowly taking over the NFL landscape. In recent years, Giants running back Saquon Barkley has converted all of his endorsement money to Bitcoin, former Cowboys receiver Dez Bryant has started his own line of NFTs, and participants at this year’s Senior Bowl were each given their own NFT. One of the prospects most excited at this news was Memphis wide receiver Calvin Austin. At the Senior Bowl, Austin mentioned “I’ve been seeing guys like Dez Bryant and other people on Twitter start to post their NFT, so I was like, ‘How do I get one?’” Austin continued. “I started researching everything, and then to come down here and they told us we were getting one, I was like, wow, it’s crazy. I was just thinking about it and they surprised us with that, it’s just a big-time opportunity.” Austin is clearly invested in the crypto market. He sees the impact NFTs have had on people’s money and is trying to get in on the action early. Can you imagine what he’ll do in these markets once he has NFL money? Probably go nuts. While other prospects like Ohio State’s Garrett Wilson are already involved in the NFT market (has a verified Bored Ape NFT profile picture on Twitter), Wilson hasn’t expressed his excitement in NFTs or cryptocurrency to the same extent that Austin has. It may take Austin some time to fully understand how to profit off the NFT market, but when he does, we expect a full line of the best moments from his rookie season. Most likely to be referred to as ‘scrappy’ by the analysts on Draft Day (could also be called ‘Most Likely to be the white receiver Belichick inevitably drafts’): Kyle Philips source: Getty Images Death, taxes, and Bill Belichick drafting white receivers. All three are inevitable, and given the Patriots’ lack of a true star receiver for second-year quarterback Mac Jones, it makes sense for the Patriots to be interested in one come draft weekend. So now the only question is, who will be said receiver? Who will be the next Wes Welker, Julian Edelman, Chris Hogan or Danny Amendola? That slot guy who becomes a vital part of the Patriots’ passing attack. Let me introduce you to UCLA wide receiver Kyle Philips. Draft Day analysts are no doubt foaming at the mouth at the chance to call Philips “heady” “scrappy,” “a gym rat,” or “a hard worker.” They’re licking their chops at the chance to compare him to Hunter Renfrow, and frankly, it’s not a bad comparison. Philips is a very traditional slot receiver. He’s not going to offer that insane downfield explosiveness, but he’s a great route runner with great ability to create separation early. That sounds exactly like Edelman and Amendola to us. He’s also considered an above-average blocker in the run game, which we know is something Belichick values immensely in receiver prospects. All in all, it just makes too much sense for Belichick to take him. Look for New England’s head coach to make a move for Philips on Day 2. 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